Archive for February 2014

InstaHaven

Friday, February 28, 2014

Are you on instagram?  Follow me HERE .  I really love instagram and I'm not a big "selfie" kind of girl and so before Haven my posts on instagram were few and far between.  Now that she is here I take pictures of her all throughout the day, I'm always posting on instagram.  I only post about 1 or 2 a day because I get that not everyone is as obsessed with my baby as I am!  I even gave little love her own hashtag: #dailydoseofhavengrace  
Here's our week in pictures: 

All 3 of daddy's girls LOVE when he comes home from work 
Daddy thinks she looks like an old woman in this cardigan outfit.  I tend to agree ;) 
Big yawns 
She loves the bathtub 
Strike a pose 
This is how we spend our afternoons 
Baby girl LOVES to stare at herself in the mirror.  It captivates her for a good 30 minutes
Could she get any cuter?  
Today, we attempted to take ONE month pictures.  I am going to do the monthly picture until she is one but I can't quite decide what I want to do... think I'll check out pinterest this afternoon for creative ideas.  Today's photo shoot attempt was filled with poopy diapers, crossed eyes and mad faces so I think we may give it another go around tomorrow.

Happy Friday y'all!! 

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My Thoughts on Mommyhood

Monday, February 24, 2014


Well, I've been a mommy for 3 weeks now so I'm pretty sure that makes me an expert, right?!? I kid, I kid... But, in all seriousness I'm loving being a new mommy.  I had no doubt that I would love it.  I'm not going to lie though, I was little nervous.  You see, I adore my sleep and sometimes I've been known to be selfish.  Yes, it's hard to believe, but oh so true.  Just ask Ben.  And let's not forget the weeks up until the baby comes when everyone decides to spew every terrible newborn story at you and constantly make comments like, "better enjoy your sleep now" and "yep, won't be able to do that once the baby comes". Seriously though people, yes it's hard, but what about the insane joy that mommyhood brings?!? Why not focus on that?

Is it hard? Absolutely!  When little love cries for the thousandth time in the middle of the night and I have a raging sinus infection and I've already called on my lifeline husband (who has to work in the morning) too many times... Yes that's tough.  But then I rub my eyes and slowly crawl out of bed and I look over the edge of the crib my heart. just. melts.  And I scoop up the most precious gift ever, as she screams like she hasn't been fed for days, and we do that over. And over. And over... Until I finally decide its waaaayyy past socially acceptable to be in bed and so we make our way in to the living room to "start" our day.

This precious girl is such a sweet gift and I can't even begin to tell you how becoming her mommy has grown me in my relationship with the Lord.  I'm overwhelmed by His faithfulness in her adoption story.  I'm overwhelmed by His goodness and grace that He would choose Ben and I, two incredibly messed up sinners, to raise her.  I'm overwhelmed because I'm sleep deprived and need Him to get me through the day.  I'm overwhelmed as I address birth announcements to the almost 200 people who made it possible for her to be ours... When I look into her big beautiful dark eyes, I'm simply overwhelmed in the best way possible.

So, yes, I'm loving mommyhood!  It's my favorite job yet!

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The Snowpocalypes and Meeting the Family

Friday, February 21, 2014


Last week we planned to leave town on Thursday after Haven's doctors appointment and head to my parents house where both of our families were coming in town to meet Haven.  Unfortunately, the snowpocalypse was about to hit the south and Wednesday morning the doctors office called to say they would likely be closed on Thursday and to call in morning to check.  We called back to ask if they had any openings for that day so that we could get in and then head on down to my parents.  They did... in 40 minutes.  So Ben and I darted through the house like crazies attempting to get showered and ready with the hopes of leaving town after Haven's appointment.  Haven's appointment went well and then we rushed home to pack and head out.  The snow flurries started on our way home.  We knew we had a small window before the roads started to get backed up and so we were on a mission to get packed and out of the house in 20 minutes.  If you know me, you know I am a planner and hate being rushed.  Couple that with traveling out of town with a new baby and all of her baby gear, I was doubtful we would get out in Ben's suggested time frame.  About 30 minutes later,  I was ready to go and the snow was already piling up on the roads.  We contemplated several times whether we should try to leave and checked the weather forecasts along our route home.  Finally, we decided to give it a try and down the snowy road we went.  Y'all, it was a HUGE mistake!  It took us almost 2 hours to get to the highway which normally takes 40 to get to.  The snow was falling too hard and accumulating too fast and the traffic was wall to wall.  As a fellow Yankee, I find it so comical to watch southerners freak out when the snow falls!  It's like all common sense is lost on the road and all of a sudden they don't know how to drive!  Right before our ramp to get on the highway we both agreed that this was a terrible mistake and NOT a good idea with a newborn... What if we got stranded... So, we turned around.  Luckily we took back roads home and made it home safely.  We laughed the whole way home as I white knuckled the steering wheel.  The conditions were actually pretty terrible and we were so silly for thinking we could pull it off.  

The next morning we got up and assessed the roads and decided to give it another go around.  The snow plows had cleared the roads overnight and it was very safe to drive.  So off we went to meet the family.  It was such a fun weekend and I don't think Haven was ever put down.  Saturday morning Ben's mom made her famous chocolate biscuits for everyone.  Yes, you read that right...  homemade biscuits with a chocolate gravy poured over top!  They are heavenly... don't judge until you try them! 

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

All ready to go - such a good little traveler!
With Ben's family (minus Uncle Sam)  
She loves her Mimi
With Uncle Colin - keepin it real with no shirt on ;)

Papa's girl 

sleeping on uncle Erik 

cousin Carter loves his "cousin Haveh"

Grand daddy and Nonna  
Auntie D
Our families have stood by and supported us and prayed for us every step of our adoption journey. It was so sweet to have everyone together to celebrate this little love that God has blessed us with!


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Red Thread Sessions - Newborn Photos

Monday, February 17, 2014

     If you are an adoptive momma or a waiting momma I want to tell you about a wonderful organization called Red Thread Sessions.  It's a network of photographers who offer their services for FREE to adoptive families.  Such an amazing service for families who probably have exhausted all their finances on the adoption and don't have extra for a professional photos.
    Before we traveled,  I searched the available photographers in Utah and reached out to a wonderful photographer, Photos by Kelley Anderson and scheduled a session during our week in Utah.  She was so much fun and after being pent up in a hotel room for a week, it was honestly the highlight of our week.
     Here are a couple of the amazing photos she captured of our precious girl:

Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/

Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/

Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/

Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/

Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/


Photos By Kelley Anderson - http://www.photosbykelleyanderson.com/

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Traveling Home

Thursday, February 13, 2014

        I was so nervous about traveling with a newborn during flu season.  We were armed with clorox wipes and lots of purell.  We headed to the airport with our 3 suitcases, 2 back packs, car seat, and two totes... did I mention I'm not a light packer?!  We dropped off the car with enterprise and headed to check our bags.  It was quite a trek with a baby and lots of luggage, but after many pitiful stops (sorry, Ben) we made it to the ticketing counter.  As we were about to head through security, Ben was checking his pockets when he realized he didn't leave the car rental keys in the car.   So, the lovely TSA agent allowed me to step to the side and wait for Ben to literally sprint the keys back to the car rental area (later I saw the several missed calls from Enterprise kindly stating that there was a large back up of cars because they couldn't move our car out of the way without the keys, lol!!).   I chatted with the TSA agent who was an adoptee herself and she shared about meeting her birth mom as an adult.  Ben made it back in record time and we proceeded through security.  
       Haven did amazing during both flights.  It was such an answered prayer.  I wore her in a wrap for the majority of the time and that helped keep people at a distance.  I fed her a little before both flights and then during the flights to keep her nice and full and sleepy.  She did so wonderful and we made it safely home after several hours of traveling.  She really is such a sweet, content baby so far!
my view from the flights 

Finally home at 12:45am 
    
Sweet welcome in our kitchen from friends 

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Our week in Utah

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

    After being discharged, we headed back to the hotel to nestle in for the week and wait to be cleared to fly home.  I was really thankful to have a couple days to relax, rest, and love on our sweet girl before making the trek home.  We spent the week lounging in bed, taking lots of pictures, a little drive through the mountains and a newborn photography session (more on that soon).







she loves sleeping with her arms above her head

         Wednesday we got word that we were cleared to go home, however we had a court appointment for Friday morning, so we made travel plans to leave Friday afternoon.  Friday morning we headed over to the court house to meet our lawyer.  We left pretty early because we weren't sure how our commute in to Salt Lake City would be on a snowy morning.  Turns out we were an hour early and so we sat in front of what we thought was the right court room.  Time came and passed that we were suppose to meet our lawyer and so Ben called him.  Ended up we were sitting in front of the wrong court room for an hour, opps ;)  
          Luckily we weren't too late and reviewed some documents with our lawyer before heading in the court room.  Typically, we would go before the judge after our 6 month finalization period was complete.  However, we were lucky enough to get appointed a judge that allows out-of-state families come in early so that they don't have to travel back to Utah in 6 months.  Our lawyer asked us several questions about how Haven came in to our care and about our intentions to love and care for her forever.  Our judge was the sweetest man and just grinned at us throughout the entire hearing.  
           Over the next several months, we will complete post placement reports with our home study social worker.  She will insure that Haven is requiring adequate care and is bonding with us.  She will complete reports that will be sent back to our lawyer and after six months our case will be finalized in Utah and Haven will legally become our daughter.  

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Saying Goodbye

Tuesday, February 4, 2014


            Sunday morning, the pediatrician arrived to check out Haven and answered our, ahem Ben’s, many questions.  After he left, the nurse came in and said that C wanted to spend some time with Haven before she was discharged.  Shortly before she was discharged, she asked us to come down to all say goodbye.  I had a pit in my stomach all morning thinking about these moments.  Over the last couple days, we had truly fallen in love with C.  She is a strong, beautiful, and selfless woman with an infectious laugh.  We watched her continually put Haven’s needs before her own wants and desires.   We formed a deep love and insane respect for her.
            The next 30 minutes were the hardest, sweetest, and worst moments of my life.  Watching C grieve her loss all while boasting at how she knew her decision was the best for her baby was heart wrenching.  We cried and prayed over her and then she said her last goodbyes.  The walk back to the room was the worst walk of my life.  As we pushed Haven to our room, my heart was broken for this selfless woman.  I struggled with guilt and doubt, but the Lord sweetly reminded me of the many times she confirmed that she adored us and was so glad she chose us to raise Haven. 
Adoption is born from brokenness.  It was never God’s plan A.  But, thankfully He makes beauty from ashes and this adoption is a true picture of just that.   I contemplated and prayed about how much I would share about C, but what I know is that I want to celebrate what a wonderful woman she truly is!  Birth mom’s get such a bad rap and in most cases it simply just isn’t true. 
          She could have taken the selfish way out and just terminated her pregnancy, but she didn’t, she chose life.  She chose to carry Haven to term and selflessly put Haven’s needs before her own.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want Haven, that’s the farthest thing from the truth.  But, she was mature enough to realize she just couldn’t give Haven what she felt she deserved.  She loves Haven, without a shadow of a doubt.  She didn’t take the easy way out.  She took the hardest way.  And she deserves to be commended and celebrated!
            C will forever hold a special place in our hearts!  We hope that with Christ’s help, we will raise and love Haven and that she will become all the C dreams she will become.  And we plan to always celebrate her and tell Haven about what an amazing birth mom she has! 

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Signing Day

Monday, February 3, 2014


            When we left Friday night, we had such an amazing peace.   Our time with C was so special and she and the staff continued to comfort us that she was confident in her adoption plan.  As we drove home from the hospital, we cried and praised the Lord for blessing us with such a wonderful birth mom and a beautiful baby girl.   I was able to easily fall asleep feeling like it was all in His hands and that He would bring this process to completion. 
            After waking up, we impatiently waited for our case worker to text to tell us to come to the hospital.  At 9:30, she texted and said she was waiting to hear back from C’s case worker about how much time C would like to spend with baby girl before signing.  An hour later we hadn’t heard anything and the devil really started to work on us.  I finally texted our case worker again, and she responded 40 minutes later.  In that 40 minutes, the devil’s lies were becoming stronger and stronger and we both began to wonder if something had changed or gone wrong.  We prayed and prayed and paced and paced in our hotel room.  Finally, our case worker called and said that C wanted to spend the day with Haven before signing and that we didn’t need to come to the hospital until 2:30.  She assured us that this was very normal and that she would be completely honest with us had there been any “red flags.”  Those next several hours were the longest hours of my life.  After a few hours at the hotel, I finally told Ben we HAD to get out of the hotel before I went nuts.  So, we drove around, and roamed around target and other stores and got some lunch.  One sweet friend texted and suggested we spend the next few hours before our lives officially changed forever spending time reflecting on our relationship and why we loved each other.  So, at lunch, we spent time reminiscing about our relationship, favorite memories, and qualities we loved about each other.  It wasn’t without some distraction and lots of anxiousness about the next couple hours to come, but it was such a great way to celebrate everywhere the Lord has taken us and to build one another up. 
            After what seemed to be a century, we arrived at the hospital and went to our private room to wait on our social worker.  We were both so nervous.   We totally understood and appreciated that C wanted to love on Haven as much as she could before saying good bye.  But, what if she was changing her mind?  How could we go from being so confident the night before, to an anxious ball of emotions?  Our social worker came in and started the paperwork process with us.  To be honest, I didn’t hear a single word she said of the very important paperwork she was reviewing with us.  She told us C’s social worker would text her once the relinquishment documents were signed.  So instead of listening, I fixated on her phone waiting for that text.  A few minutes in, she received the text and we got the wonderful news that Haven was ours!  It was such a huge relief, then followed by such heartache as we thought about what C must be going through.  
          After signing, C wanted us to come to the room and spend the evening all 4 of us together.  We brought her a “thank you” present and a thank you note.  I can’t tell you how hard it is to adequately express how deeply grateful you are to a woman for trusting us to raise and love her baby.  Some tears were shed and we hugged her and promised to take care and love Haven forever.  We then all ate dinner together, swapped stories, and watched some of a movie, all while passing sweet Haven around.  It was again, such a wonderful time to bond with our birth mom and to love on her.  We couldn’t have asked for a better experience and are so thankful that the Lord matched us together. 
            C was exhausted and so we took Haven for the night.  It was our first night together and Haven did wonderfully.  She woke up to feed every 3 hours and slept when she wasn’t eating.  We, on the other hand, had a rough nights sleep.  The room had one hospital bed, that was more like a rock with a sheet and then a reclining chair… which felt like a lawn chair.  Ben and I switched “beds” in the night and both slept very little.  I spent most of the night holding Haven and just staring at her in her little crib.  It was a long night...

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