But
encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that
none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Hebrews
3:13
I know, in marriage,
and many relationships for that matter, in the monotony that can sometimes
become our lives, it’s so easy to focus on the negative. It’s so easy for me to see all the things
that Ben is doing wrong.
And before you know
it, instead of being on his team,
I am against him.
This me against you mentality.
Wrong against
right.
Just like Hebrew’s
3:13 says above, it’s so easy to let the devil deceive us in to believing we
are somehow against our spouses and
eventually we’ve become hardened toward them.
I can think of countless times that I have, in my own sin and self
righteousness, stacked brick by brick up until eventually I have this wall
between us because I have become so deceived by the enemy. I’ve forgotten that we are in this together
and we are one, not two.
Ben and I both share a
love language
words of
encouragement
I tend to think you
can have more than one love language, but there is always one that is
primary. For Ben, his primary love
language is words of encouragement. We have this little game we play
occasionally. Sometimes we do it at
night before we go to sleep, other times we do it while driving along in the
car, or sometimes even after a heated argument.
He or I will randomly ask questions like,
tell me
5 things you love about me
tell me
3 ways you’ve seen me grow since we’ve been married
tell me
1 thing I am doing really well right now as a husband/wife
And then we’ll both
spend time encouraging one another, talking about things we love about each
other and things that will speak life and truth into one another.
And sometimes when we
are just coming out of a heated argument and we’re both so blinded that it’s hard
to see the good in another, we’ll take time re-living our love story and
reminiscing about all the sweet details of how we came to be. Instantly walls are torn down and everything
comes in to perspective.
Just last week we
spent some time before we went to sleep encouraging each other by talking about
the ways we’ve seen one another grow in our relationship with the Lord over the last year. I can’t tell you how much my heart swells
when I hear my husband speak truth over my weary heart.
I want to be the type
of wife, friend, sister, and daughter that is an encourager.
One who speaks life
and truth and love into the people I care about.
At the end of the day,
I want my husband to remember hearing more encouraging things from me than
discouraging.
Therefore
encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1
Thessalonians 5:11
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